Pretoria, SOUTH AFRICA – After 41 court-days of a trial that has extended several months and many of my own personal pseudo-legal judgments, Oscar Pistorius has been found NOT GUILTY for the murder of Reeva Steenkamp. It was a big day for South Africa as Judge Thokozile Masipa finally delivered her controversial decision. Disappointingly for many, Masipa views Pistorius’ version as true. Yep no “dolus evantualis” in this case. No premeditation for sure. The law is a finicky thing because Pistorius was actually not required to prove his innocence. Instead the burden always falls on the state to prove guilt. Intuition doesn’t matter. Now we wait to see if justice will come in the form of a lengthy prison sentence. And while vengeance wont bring Reeva back I still hope to see Pistorius pay for what he did.

I became interested in the trial the minute I heard the news about his arrest. I’m a huge lover and avid watcher of the Summer Olympics. Jamaica usually cleans up in track and field and the victories are always my favorite sporting event to watch. From an old television set in Costa Rica, I happened to notice Pistorius for the first time as he competed in London. There he was in all his Paralympic glory running track with “able-bodied” athletes. I thought he was an inspiration to say the least. A new source of cultural pride for the people of South Africa. Pistorius didn’t represent Nelson Mandela in demeanor but he was attractive, young and running on blades. The little twelve year old girl that will always live within me, sent out a tweet that I would like to marry Oscar Pistorius someday.

The romance was short lived. Just a few months later on one of my officially most loathed days of the year, I woke up to the news of his arrest for the murder of his girlfriend. What? On Valentines Day? There he was on every news timeline ARRESTED for the murder of Reeva Steenkamp, a beautiful South African model, reality TV personality and law school graduate.

The more I read about Reeva, the more I began to really like her. She seemed so undeserving of that type of death. Especially on Valentines Day! She had just returned from shooting Tropika Island of Treasure in NEGRIL JAMAICA. I really admired the fact that she was a law school grad that wanted to fight for women’s rights as well as pursue modeling. She also had great things to say about Jamaica. She had everything going for her.

The first time I heard Pistorius’ version I called bullshit. There are so many reasons his version rings untrue. Why didn’t he ask her if she heard a noise too? Why didn’t he run out of the bedroom with her? Why didn’t he assume it could have been her in the bathroom? Women pee in the night all the time. Puh- lease his defense was just that because multiple neighbors heard a woman screaming after all. In Reeva’s Whats-App messages, read during the trial, she stated she didn’t like the way he yelled at her in public and made her feel sad. She didn’t like his temper and it scared her. Purely circumstantial but this is why I am not a judge. The “true” story is he got too mad, Ray Rice mad, and did the unthinkable. Yes he may have regretted it immediately but unfortunately his remorse came a few seconds too late.

My heart  truly goes out to Reeva’s friends and family, especially her mom and dad. She was after all their only child.

Many women are physically beautiful but Reeva’s spirit truly shines bright in every photo and interview I have seen of her. Her sweet, down-to-earth charm seems to eclipse her beauty. Now for her, the whole world wants justice. The whole world has her back.

And Oscar who? He is definitely not the same bright star I first saw inspiring others at the Olympics in London. He has indeed changed many lives all around.

May Reeva rest in paradise.